Letters to You: December 7, 2025

When the Holidays Feel More Lonely Than Merry

Dear You (laying by yourself in a quiet place) ,

I need to acknowledge something that we don’t talk about enough: sometimes the holidays are the loneliest time of the year.

Everyone else seems to have somewhere to be, someone to celebrate with, traditions that fill their calendars and their hearts. And you’re sitting there feeling like you’re on the outside looking in at everyone else’s joy.

Maybe you lost someone this year and this is your first holiday without them. Maybe your family is far away or non-existent. Maybe you’re going through a divorce or breakup and traditions you counted on have evaporated. Maybe you have family but they’re toxic or difficult, so spending time with them feels worse than being alone.

Or maybe you’re surrounded by people and still feel utterly alone, going through the motions at gatherings while feeling completely disconnected.

Research shows that loneliness increases the risk of serious health issues and makes people twice as likely to experience depression. But during the holidays, when everyone’s supposed to be joyful and connected, admitting you’re lonely feels like admitting failure.

So we smile through it. We pretend we’re fine. We scroll through social media looking at everyone else’s perfect holiday moments and feel even more isolated.

I want you to know: your loneliness is valid. It’s not a character flaw or something you should be able to just overcome with positive thinking.

And it’s more common than you realize. So many people are feeling exactly what you’re feeling right now, all of us privately convinced we’re the only ones.

I don’t have a magic solution. I can’t make your loneliness disappear or give you back what you’ve lost or fix complicated family dynamics.

But I can tell you this: movement spaces can be surprisingly powerful antidotes to isolation.

Not because exercise cures loneliness, it doesn’t. But because showing up to a class, seeing familiar faces, being in the same physical space with other humans, having small conversations before and after; these tiny moments of connection matter more than you might think.

Our Tuesday afternoon class? There are three women who come specifically because it’s their guaranteed social interaction for the week. They’ve told me this. Pilates is their community.

If you’re feeling isolated this month, please consider:

Coming to class even when you don’t feel like it. Especially when you don’t feel like it.

Staying after to chat, even just for a few minutes. Connection doesn’t have to be deep to be meaningful. Sometimes the cure for loneliness is helping someone else feel less lonely.

Acknowledge your feelings instead of pretending they don’t exist. “I’m struggling with the holidays this year” is a perfectly valid thing to say.

I know this month is hard. I know everyone’s cheer and joy can feel like salt in a wound when you’re hurting.

But you’re not as alone as you feel. And you don’t have to get through this perfectly.

Just get through it. One day, one hour, one breath at a time.

We’re here. I’m here. You’re not invisible, even when it feels that way.

Thanks for being here!