Letters to You: November 23, 2025
When Everyone at Thanksgiving Has an Opinion About Your Body
Dear You (the one navigating family at Thanksgiving),
Deep breath. I know what week this is.
You’re probably already bracing yourself for it. That moment at Thanksgiving when someone comments on your body. Whether you’ve lost weight, gained weight, or stayed exactly the same, someone will inevitably have something to say about it.
“You look so thin! Are you eating enough?” “You look healthy!” (which we all know is code for “you’ve gained weight”) “Have you been working out? You look great!” (implying you didn’t before) “You should try what I’m doing, it’s working great for me.”
And my personal favorite: “You look... different.”
I want you to know something before you walk into that dining room: your body is not up for discussion. It’s not a topic for the dinner table. It’s not subject to public commentary or unsolicited advice.
But they’re going to comment anyway, because we live in a culture where people think other people’s bodies are their business.
Last year, I had a relative tell me I looked “too skinny” and I should “eat more” while simultaneously serving me smaller portions than everyone else because she assumed I was “watching my figure.” The cognitive dissonance was staggering.
Here’s what I wish I’d said then, and what I’m telling you now: “I appreciate your concern, but I’m not discussing my body today.”
Full stop. No explanation. No justification. No defensive response about your health or your choices or your doctor’s opinion.
Because here’s the truth: you don’t owe anyone an explanation for how your body exists in space.
Not your mother who’s worried. Not your sister who’s competitive. Not your uncle who thinks he’s being helpful. Not your cousin who’s selling some MLM weight loss product.
Your body. Your business.
I know it’s hard, especially with family. They’ve known you your whole life. They think they have a right to comment. They genuinely might believe they’re being helpful or showing concern.
But impact matters more than intent. And the impact of body commentary, even well-meaning commentary, is harmful.
If you can’t or don’t want to shut it down directly, here are some responses I’ve found helpful:
“I’d rather talk about what you’ve been up to lately.” “Let’s focus on being together, not on bodies.” “I’m actually feeling great. How are you?” “That’s not something I’m comfortable discussing.”
Or my favorite, borrowed from a client: “My relationship with my body is private, but I’m happy to talk about literally anything else.”
Here’s what I want you to remember when you’re sitting at that table, feeling observed and commented on:
Your body has carried you through another year. It’s survived a pandemic, economic stress, political chaos, personal challenges, and the daily demands of being a human in 2025. It deserves respect, not critique.
Your worth isn’t determined by whether you’re smaller or larger than the last time your family saw you. Your health isn’t determined by how you look in your Thanksgiving outfit. Your value isn’t up for debate over turkey and stuffing.
And if someone pushes back when you set boundaries? If they get offended that you won’t discuss your body? If they say you’re being “too sensitive”?
That’s their discomfort with your boundary, not a reflection of whether your boundary is valid.
You’re allowed to protect yourself, even from people you love. Especially from people you love.
This Thanksgiving, I hope you can find moments of genuine connection, joy, and gratitude. I hope the food is good and the company is warm and the memories you make are sweet.
But if someone makes you feel small, criticized, or judged for existing in your body? Remember: that says everything about them and nothing about you.
Your body is good. You are enough. And anyone who can’t see that doesn’t deserve space in your head or your heart. I’m thankful to all my clients, readers, and subscribers for supporting Well & Often Pilates. We’re here because of you.
Thanks for being here and Happy Thanksgiving!!!
