Letters to You: October 26, 2025

The Pilates + Body connection nobody talks about... but everyone should

Dear You (the baddie in the bedroom),

SEX!!! I’m talking about sex, you guys. And how it connects to everything we do in the studio.

I know, I know. You probably weren't expecting to read about this in a letter from your Pilates instructor. But here's the thing - your pelvic floor doesn't compartmentalize your life the way your brain does. The same muscles that help you sneeze without leaking are the same ones involved in orgasm. The core stability we work on every session? That's the foundation for everything, including intimacy.

And if things aren't working the way they used to in the bedroom, that's not just "getting older" or "having kids" or something you have to accept and never talk about.

Had coffee with a friend last week who casually mentioned that sex "just isn't the same anymore" - like it was as inevitable as gray hair or needing reading glasses. When I asked what she meant, she got this look like she'd said too much.

"You know... it just doesn't feel as good. Sometimes it's uncomfortable. Sometimes I can't... you know. But that's normal after 40, right?"

No, honey. It's common, but it's not normal. And it's definitely not something you have to just accept.

Here's what nobody tells you: the same pelvic floor dysfunction that causes you to leak when you laugh can also affect sensation during sex. The same core weakness that gives you back pain can also make it harder to reach orgasm. The same hip tightness that bothers you during exercise can also cause pain during penetration.

Your sexual health and your movement health aren't separate things. They're the same system.

But we treat them like they exist in completely different universes. We'll spend thousands of dollars on fitness memberships and never think to invest in pelvic floor physical therapy. We'll meticulously track our steps and never consider how our core function affects our intimate life.

I remember the first time a pelvic floor PT explained to me how orgasm actually works from a muscular perspective. The coordination required, the blood flow patterns, the way your entire core system has to work together. It blew my mind how mechanical and trainable it all is.

Like, we accept that we need to train our muscles for everything else - to lift groceries, to play sports, to have good posture. But somehow we think our pelvic floor should just automatically know how to function optimally for pleasure without any attention or training.

This is where the work we do in Pilates becomes so much more than just "exercise." When we're working on breath coordination, we're improving blood flow to your pelvic region. When we're strengthening your deep core, we're supporting the muscular contractions involved in orgasm. When we're improving your hip mobility, we're reducing the likelihood of pain during sex.

But it goes deeper than just the physical. When you learn to connect with your body through movement, when you develop awareness of your core and your breath, when you start to trust your body's signals - all of that translates to intimacy too.

So many women tell me they feel disconnected from their bodies during sex. Like they're observing from outside instead of experiencing from within. That disconnection often starts way before the bedroom - it's the same disconnection that makes you ignore your body's needs for rest, or push through pain during exercise, or feel surprised by what your body can and can't do.

The body awareness we cultivate in our sessions? That's intimacy training too.

I'm not saying Pilates is going to solve every sexual concern - sometimes you need medical intervention, sometimes it's hormonal, sometimes it's relational. But I am saying that a strong, connected, aware pelvic floor is the foundation for a healthy sex life, just like it's the foundation for a healthy movement practice.

And if you're reading this thinking "but I'm too old for this to matter" or "but I've had kids" or "but I'm not in a relationship right now" - stop right there.

Your sexual health matters at every age, regardless of your relationship status, regardless of what your body has been through. You deserve to feel pleasure in your own skin. You deserve to have a body that works for you in all the ways you want it to.

That starts with treating your pelvic floor like the important, trainable, connected system it is. Not some mysterious body part that you hope just figures itself out.

We don't talk about this enough, but we should. Because your whole body deserves to feel good, including the parts that give you pleasure.

Thanks for being here!